Snowcation 2016

We’re on our 3^rd day of our 'Snowcation!'  I’ve actually run out of pjs to wear, so I’m gonna have to do some laundry. 

True to form, the local media stirred panic with their week long special reports, “the sky is falling, make sure you fill you house floor to ceiling with water, bread and butter”.  I’ve always wondered,

What can you do with bread, water and butter?

My cart was filled with a couple of steaks, a pot roast and some wine…that seemed more practical.  While others were panicked about being stuck at home, I was planning romantic dinners, movies, and a contingency that if electricity gave out, a cozy fire and candles.

 Colleagues outside of the area called to share their concern for us...so sweet!  I assured them, all was well. Couples and families will have much needed time together….and the proof will be the baby boom in about 10 months.

Brad's car is a great decoration...it ain't goin anywhere!

I pulled the car into the garage just as the snow started to fall.  24 hours later, it was still falling and the street disappeared.  Brad left his car out...here's what happened to his black car.

Brad and I shoveled 5 times on Saturday, 3 times on Sunday, and today our goal will be to break through the 4 foot wall that stands between us and the street.

 

I took this time to do a little cleaning out.   

My first project was the records drawers in our basement.  Earlier this week, I worked on our taxes, so as I went through the drawers,  I  took out my tax returns from 2008 to destroy them;  At that moment there was a lump in my throat as I realized there is only 1 more year that Joshua will be listed as my child.  While he will always be my child, the IRS will no longer care.   Ugh…it seemed like a “nothing” moment, yet, I felt those tears. 

Gotta snap out of it!  I turned my attention to some piles nearby and found some Josh treasures within.  School reports, artwork.  What a gift!

I finished what I was doing for the day and came upstairs just as Joshua's favorite football player, Peyton Manning was on the tv celebrating his team's victory!  We get to see Peyton and the Broncos in the Super Bowl again.  Oh my gosh, Josh was would be doing a happy dance.  I did it for him!

I went to bed that night with my electric blanket wrapped around me and slept like a rock.

When I woke up,  I took Alex for a walk on the street;  The only spot to walk.  Alex was so happy to stretch his legs.  It was a beautiful with the sun rising upon our quiet street.   I was alone with my thoughts when   I felt the urge to look up.  Joshua's bedroom was lit.   We hadn't turned it on, so I knew that in the stillness of the morning, Josh was taking the moment to say “Good Morning!"

There is always music amongst the trees in the garden, but our hearts must be very quiet to hear it.  ~Minnie Aumonier

Joshua 2003

Stay Safe and Warm!

Hugs!

Sherri

SUDEP Acknowledged....Finally!

It’s a rainy Saturday and Brad is yelling at the television again.  He is out to get that darn weatherman who is cursing his planned golf game tomorrow.  Not a good idea to watch the news with their 15 minute weather updates; just adds fuel to his burning fire.
 

Luckily for us, last weekend was much better;   Perfect weather for the National Epilepsy Walk on The Mall.  In years past, we’ve awakened to snow on the ground and had to dress in layers.  This year, the team was perky and warm, just like the day.




When Stephi finds Joshua's picture

Brad, Stephi and I went a bit early so we could walk around the vendor village to see what is out there in the world of epilepsy and seizures.

It was also the chance to see history in the making;  
Acknowledgement of  SUDEP.  

The Danny Did Organization worked with the National Epilepsy Foundation to create the Remembrance Wall;  The wall had a photo of sweet Josh and many others lost to SUDEP.  I knew it was gonna be there, but it still took my breath away to see my son on a national wall of remembrance.

Those are the moments when you have to remind yourself to just breathe!!

My sweet sweet boy!

It’s hard to believe this was our fourth walk.  We had planned to walk it WITH Josh, not in memory of.... Thankfully, it does help my heart to know Joshua's Smile has raised over $45,000 for epilepsy research, and to provide EMFIT monitors to several families in need.    It’s a journey I never suspected  when I accepted my mountain man’s proposal 23 years ago.  Still, I’m happy to make a difference, and feel that Josh would approve.



The difference between a helping hand and an outstretched palm is a twist of the wrist.  ~Laurence Leamer, King of the Night

HUGS!
Sherri

Worst Kept Christmas Secrets Ever!

I’m watching an old classic on tv and Stephi is sitting next to me singing every word along with Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer and Kirby the dentist elf.  I'm so proud!

 Brittany is on her way home from college and needed a place to lay her head.  My sweet cousin in Nashville took her in for the night and spoiled her rotten before sending her back on her way.  We will see her shortly.

The Christmas tree is thawing in the garage.  Brad will bring it in for the girls to decorate  tomorrow.  Most of the presents are sitting in the corner wrapped in bright colors and ribbons.  I'm pretty surprised that Stealth Kitty has behaved pretty well so far;  I’ve only found a couple of shredded strands of shiny ribbon strewn around the house.
   
For as long as I can remember, we have wrapped presents and then get everyone all worked up and excited over the "what is it?"  part.  Once when we were little, my brother and I were so curious, he held my ankles while I reached down into a tall box to pull up wrapped gifts, peel back the tape, and take a peek.  The next year, mom bought wrapping paper that tore when you pulled the tape.  Argghhhh, she's so sneaky!

Britt & Stephi-2004

  But there will be NO SURPRISES FOR THE FAM THIS YEAR!   This year the wrapped presents are for show only since everyone pretty much bought their own gifts. 

 I needed Stephi's help to get to the right website, put in the special secret codes, and figure out seating details for the concert of her dreams.  I wished her Merry Christmas as I handed over my credit card.

2004-Josh showing us his big boy UT sweatshirt

Brad was so helpful, he put his stuff in the online shopping cart for me, complete with style, color and size.  I really wanted to do something special for him; I have been saving my mad money to replace the warped keyboard with super glue he calls a computer.  The only thing is, he’s a total computer geek and I needed his help to buy it! I did offer to choose it myself though I was pretty sure I would end up  buying him a ‘Hello Kitty’ Laptop.  I wished him Merry Christmas as I handed him my debit card.  I will wrap it and put it under the tree the night before since I don’t trust that Stealth Kitty!

A few years ago, I would have made it picture perfect complete with big surprises, but this year, I’m just in it for the joy that comes from giving and being with my family.
 

HUGS!

Sherri

 

Mama's Magic Bag

We are in Tennessee for a quick visit with the Newmans…Knoxville Chapter, before heading west to take Britt back to college.  It’s been nice catching up on the lives of all the nieces and nephews the last couple of days.  They are all at such interesting chapters in their lives and I enjoy their exciting chatter.  At the same time my heart feels heavy.  This is the year Joshua’s cousins start high school, the cousins born the same year he was born, which means this is the year that Josh should start too.  My boy should be a freshman in high school in two weeks.  My boy should have his driver's permit in 4 months.

To distract myself, I notice that something pretty normal keeps happening.  Someone keeps asking “do you have.....?” and I keep opening up my purse to pull out the needed item.   There was the Tylenol for a toothache, lotion to stop the itch of a bug bite, and a place for Brad to throw trip receipts.  Last week at the bridal shower for my nephew, the pad of paper and pen came out of my magical bag to record all the lovely shower gifts.

I just take my purse for granted, yet where would I be without my license, debit card, phone and lipstick? 

 The other day a friend was looking for something to snack on.  She looked in her Mom bag and voila, one half-eaten bag of m&ms and a granola bar….the perfect snack choice.  While she went with the healthier choice of the granola bar;  I would have gone for the m&ms.

Need a needle and thread to sew on that button that just fell off ?  Look in my magic bag.  Want lunch money for school?  Yep, It’s in my bag.  Isn’t it  magical that my daughters (and husband) can go to my magic bag and get what they need?  Sadly, their reliance on my magical purse catch up with me from time to time when I go to pay for my lunch and my wallet is empty.   Just for the record, I ALWAYS blame Brad when that happens, not my sweet sweet girls.

Now I'm gettin' a little sentimental about my Mom bag.  I think back to everything it has held over the years from pacifiers (binkys), to cheerios.  Skinny and thick books...some with fur on the cover.  Then there were markers, a crayon or two, a camera to capture those awesome moments,  soldiers with little plastic parachutes, bouncy balls, and small tubes of suntan lotion spf 50. For four years, it held Joshua’s epilepsy meds in case we were out when it was time for his meds since we all knew how important it was to stay on schedule. 

The size of my bag has gone up and down over the years but it always seems to be just the right size I need.  Even my  mom has her magic bag, it’s pretty little…just big enough to hold her phone to answer my call when I wanna hear her voice.  It has just enough room to hold her credit card which makes me smile when she says,  "C’mon, let’s just  you and me get some lunch, my treat."  Those are precious times!

 Yep, no matter how young or how old you are, Mama's bag is always Magical. 

Hugs,

Sherri

What's the Greatest Chapter in Your Book?

I tend to think of my life as chapters......happy childhood, typical teens, college, marriage, motherhood.  Before we lost Josh I would often greet people with “Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life”.  Now, it just doesn’t seem the same, though I think it did slip out of my mouth once last week...first time in 2 1/2 years.

One of the coolest things I remember a few years ago was a segment  on "Sunday Morning" called Everybody Has a Story.  Twice a month journalist Steve Hartman would travel to some spontaneous place, find a phone book, pick a name, head off to meet the person, and with the magic of television, a name in a book became a beautiful story that would unfold before all the TV watchers like me.  There was never a story that didn’t keep me riveted to the TV.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-500617_162-6083832.html

Mr. Hartman reminded me that everyone has a story;   everyone has a book of life.  There’s even reference in the Bible of a Book of Life that God keeps on each and every one of us.  Think about it for a second, our lives are so important that God Himself keeps a record of it.

Soooo, I’ve been thinking a bit about “the next chapter of my life”.  It's probably because we’re driving out to Oklahoma to set Britt up in her apt. …her very first home.  What’s worse is she has no plans to return home to Virginia…..Oklahoma has become her home, her life is there.   Ughhhhh…darn those independent, strong children we are raising. 

Class of 2014, 2012 and 2017

 

To add to it all, I gotta sit down and help select Stephi's Senior Class Photo.   My middle child is a high school Senior.....what's more, she's talking about a college that has her interest.  At least it’s not 21 hours away.  After months of wondering what she wanted to do, she is finally step closer.  Can I get a Yay?!

But truth be told, it's probably because this next chapter is coming way too early.  I’m supposed to have four more years before I move onto the next chapter.  My last graduation is supposed to be 2017, not 2014. 

So what to do when there is a twist in the storyline?   Honestly, I have no idea!!!! And that’s ok.

I thought I was doing pretty good…a pretty interesting read, and then the bottom dropped out and Josh died suddenly.  The last couple of years are pretty dark.

True to form, I heard a song recently that got me to thinkin….

What's the greatest chapter in your book?
Are there pages where it hurts to look?
What's the one regret you can't work through?

(Mine would be You- written by Blake Shelton)

I’m realizing the rest of the pages are blank just waiting for the words of life to be written upon them. 

Let there be pages of fun, pages of happiness, pages of sadness, and let me respect the pages of quiet tears.

Hugs!

Sherri

Sometimes Ya Need a Little Home

Brad and I recently ran up to my hometown of Canton, Ohio to play tourists for a few hours while the girls chilled with the grandparental units. 



William McKinley Monument, Canton, Ohio

If you have lived in an area for a really long time you should definitely play tourist for the day!

Remember all those field trips as a child?   For me and it was President William McKinley’s monument!  I have passed the dome in recent years without a second thought other than "Oh, there's McKinley's really cool lookin' monument."  It was time to go see it again.

Studly Mountain Man ready and waiting

President McKinley's monument is a pretty busy workout hub it seems;  It must be those 108 steps leading up to the monument that draws the fitness gangs.  Always up for the challenge, Brad and I ran the steps with that "I can do anything attitude", much like the little engine that could. Yep, we were pretty much channeling Rocky when he ran all those steps to the top to prepare for the big fight. When we reached the top Brad was ready for more, I was too busy looking for an oxygen tank.

Me wishing studly man would carry me down.

The McKinley Museum had a great collection of Victorian era photos from both DC, my adopted home, and Canton, my birth home.  Looking through the exhibit started out so innocently, and then the triggers began to hit.  We saw the pictures of two adorable children, and learned the McKinley’s were bereaved parents; They lost two daughters early in life.  It was specially noted that Mrs. McKinley never fully recovered from their loss, suffered from depression, and was diagnosed with epilepsy.  Ughhhh, there it is…the dreaded "E-word!" 

The fact that she had no surviving children and was able to be a wonderful first lady is an  incredible feat to me.  Not only was she able to do so much more than breathe in and out, she was able to be a pillar of strength to our nation when she became our widowed First Lady, following the President's assassination.  Amazing respect would best express my feelings.

Many of the familiar Canton landmarks I grew up with are now bulldozed memories, and you can see life is definitely tough here in a town once deeply rooted in steel and vacuum industries.  Nowhere was it more apparent then when we stopped by the church I grew up in.  The majestic red brick building with tall pillars too wide to get your arms around, was once so full of families and children.   Today, it is a shell of its former splendor; The parsonage where I lived with my family for a year, was recently sold to cover church debt, and the sanctuary which once held hundreds has dwindled to a membership of 30 clinging to their faith and their church.  The new parsonage owner, noticed me peering in the window and shared with me their current situation. 

Talk about making lemonade from lemons....even in tough times, they have welcomed a group of Romanian  immigrants in need of faith nurturing, and have given them a place to worship at their side.  They may be separated by language, but when the preacher preaches, and the translator translates, they all understand God’s love.

We were soon heading to the next thing on our list... Putt Putt Golf!  The course I chose is one I've been playing since I was child so maybe I had a little bit of an advantage...maybe.  Brad commented that I was much better on this course than I normally am. Hmmmmm, was that a compliment?  Of course I am....it’s not straight and narrow courses I like, but the swirly, upside downs and curvy ones where I do my best work.  Guess it best describes my life too.

After I kicked my future pro golfer's butt….a time or two, we stopped in to see  my BFF's mom to say hi.  Don’t ya just love visiting the parents of your best buds who love you and use terms of endearment such as “second daughter?” 

Brad drove me over to my high school  for a high school reunion meeting, stole my new cool phone to go play games, and  I met with four classmates aka "The Reunion Committee."   A few years ago, I picked up the reunion planning notebook and have been one of the planners every five years ever since. In an hour, we had a plan, so it was time to head back to mom and dad's.

Exhausted from our adventures, I managed to stay awake in the car, but fell asleep before my head hit the pillow exhausted but content...a cherished feeling these days.  Sometimes ya just need a little home.

Sometimes you just need a little home
A little "hey, you’ve been gone way too long"
Yeah, way too long
No matter how grown up you get
Oh, no matter how far you roam
Sometimes you just need a little home
Home sweet home!

 

~"A Little Home" Sung by Rascal Flatts

Hugs!
Sherri

 

 

Roller Coasters for Joshua 2013

Yesterday was the third birthday without the birthday boy…..Oh Joshua how we miss you!! 

The girls have been a great inspiration in how to miss someone in a positive way. Since losing Josh, they have saved me many times, and they don’t even know it.  Take Joshua’s birthday for example, when that dreaded first birthday drew close in 2011, it was the girls who didn’t want his birthday to be a sad day, and dragged us to an amusement park to ride roller coasters for Joshua!  Roller coasters were his very favorite rides….Genius!  A new tradition was born!    

 

At the beginning of sixth grade, Josh kept telling me he wanted to take cupcakes with green icing for his birthday treat, so when his birthday came six months after we lost him, we fulfilled his wish and took it one step further.  Instead of sending cupcakes to Joshua's class alone, we delivered over 100 cupcakes to all the 6^th grade classes!   Every year since, we have made sure the entire 6th grade in his school is covered in cake and green icing.  It does the heart good!

Are these Acts of Celebration?  For me they have become the closest thing to a moment of happiness because I get to celebrate my youngest child, my only son.

So after dropping off the cupcakes this year, it was time to head to Busch Gardens to ride roller coasters.  BC is a few hours away, so we went down the night before to make sure we got there bright and early.  The moment the gates opened, we were on our way to the first roller coaster.   

As the coaster climbed and climbed, I kept thinkin’ how I was getting a little closer to heaven and my boy.  A little closer….. Then WOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  We were off! 

When the ride came to an end the girls screamed…. “Let’s ride again”.  There wasn’t a line yet and we considered just staying on, but decided to follow the rules, jump off, run around to the entrance and back on again.  As we jumped off, Brittany noticed the golden agers who sat behind us didn’t even try to budge from their seats.  Rebels!  When she wanted to know why no one said anything to them, I responded, "Can you imagine the press headlines?"  “Local amusement park removes rebellious senior citizens who refuse to leave high energy roller coaster.”  Ride on!!!

Just riding the roller coaster was not enough, oh no…the girls decided we needed to ride in the front car!!!!    It's true that I have never met a roller coaster I wouldn’t ride, but I am definitely not a big fan of the front seat; When you are dragged by two persuasive teenagers, sometimes it’s just easier to go with the flow.  So, up we went to the heavens again, and then as we went down, Brad’s phone went flyin' out! He felt it come out, he saw it in air and he watched it fall stories below.   Oh Nooooo!  I admit my language was a bit more colorful in the heat of the moment but the end result was just an Oooops! 

The girls were suddenly in a panic even with our assurance it was ok.  It took a few moments but I soon discovered their concern….Brad had a great photo of Josh on his phone taken just a couple of weeks before he died.  Brad and Josh had gone to the Redskins/Colts game so Josh could watch his hero, then-Colts Quarterback Peyton Manning, play the Washington Redskins. 

I quickly assured them we backed up his phone and the photo was safe and sound back home.  Huge sigh of relief!   How precious these girls were to think of their father so much.

October 2010.  Josh at the Colts-Redskin game.  He got to see Peyton, his hero! 

 Emotional meltdown avoided, on to the next roller coaster!  Just as we were next to ride, the heaven’s burst forward and gushed enough rain to close the roller coaster.  The girls were convinced it was Josh playing an ornery brother trick, but after a few minutes, the rain stopped and we finally got to ride the roller coaster. 

The rest of the day was beautiful!  When it was time for a break, we found the perfect ride….a river boat.  As we glided along the water, my thoughts turned to “How would Josh sound as a teenage boy?”  “How tall would he be?  Surely, he’d be taller than me by now."  “Oh how I wish I could wrap my arms around Josh and give him a hug and kiss”.  Just then I felt something like a light kiss on my wrist.  I looked down and saw a beautiful black and blue dragonfly resting on my left wrist directly on Joshua’s tattooed name.   It just sat there for a few seconds and then flew gently away.  A Kiss from heaven!  “Thank you God!”

As the sun began to set, we ended the day as we began, on the roller coaster for Joshua.  We were tired and rather fragrant, but we were happy because we remembered him, we laughed over stories, and we did exactly what we needed to do....we spent the day together celebrating our sweet ornery boy!

Hugs!
Sherri

Friday Night Pizza

Friday night is Pizza Night in our house.   I can’t remember exactly when it became a tradition, though I do remember little Newmanette hands squishing flour, yeast and water together when we lived overseas.

There have been times in our married life when Brad and I looked at ways to cut costs, and pizza delivery always made it on the cut list.  One time we even wrote it down and discussed with the kids that we had to stop ordering pizza so we could pay for their soccer, piano lessons and the shirts on their backs.  (A little guilt goes a long ways)
While the girls seemed to understand, Josh wanted no part of that!  He HAD to have his Friday pizza; how dare we even consider stopping it!

To help bring him around to the idea, we would talk about making our own pizza, or purchasing more affordable frozen pizzas.  NO WAY!!!! WHAT A TRAVESTY!!! 

Then it began….Josh would alternate between syrupy sweet charm, and heavy  guilt nagging until I would just give up…as a mother you have to learn when to fight your battles, and I could always scale back on those silly things like fruits and vegetables (just kidding!).  His list of why we should keep pizza delivery is a great funny memory.  Oh how I wish I had kept that list!

Guess where we were on a Friday night in 2008?

We tried again in early Fall 2010;   Joshua’s monthly seizure meds were pretty expensive even with insurance, and we were living the American reality of the sandwich generation raising our kids and helping family.  It was becoming clear that I needed to increase my work hours to cover expenses.

Brad in a moment of great enlightenment to his role of husband, left the decision up to me.  I really stressed about it and thought long and hard. I felt so torn,  and certain I was scarring  my children for life; I even had a conversation with each of them about it.  I took extra care with Josh as I knew he would be the most impacted since he was still in elementary school.  So I sat him down, bribed him to stay still for 2 minutes, and I shared with him all the changes that would have to be made.  He would have to help keep the house tidy, make sure dishes went into the dishwasher and start working on his homework on his own, etc.

He thoughtfully pondered my words for a moment before asking… “Does this mean we get to keep Friday Night Pizza?”  I about laughed myself off the chair!  The thought process of a child is an incredible thing!  I  hadn’t actually  thought about impact on pizza night in all my sleepless nights,  but after a moment  I answered “yes”.  To which he responded, just a bit too eagerly in my opinion,  “OK Mom, you need to work more then!”

A short time later I was offered a full time assignment and accepted.  It was during this time of impending change in our lives that something bigger hit us!  Joshua's sudden and completely unexpected death from SUDEP! 

There are lots of stories and emotions that have come from this experience of loss.  Calling my new supervisor to explain my great loss and offering her a graceful out if she didn’t want to deal with an emotionally empty employee who was sure to break out in tears without warning.  She refused my offer and I started working fulltime two weeks after burying my sweet ornery one.  Wow, how did I do that?  It had to be God and the prayers of our friends and family holding me up.

Somehow we’ve made it through so far and have realized how the smallest thing can bring a tear or smile.  Tonight when I heard the familiar “pizza’s here” and grabbed a slice, Joshua just came to mind and  I couldn’t help myself….I just started giggling.  Not only do we still order pizza two + years later, but now I couldn’t imagine NOT ordering it. It’s kinda a connection to a family tradition we've had since we were a complete family of 5.

They say many bereaved parents have a hard time giving up the grief and guilt because it’s a  connection to their beloved child.  Leave it to me to turn to something else....Friday Night Pizza.

If heaven didn’t have pizza before, I feel pretty sure they do now and it's a pretty busy place on Friday nights! 

Hugs!

Sherri

Walking for Josh - 2013 National Walk for Epilepsy

I’m running around the house frantically cleaning and watching the clock, to make sure I have time to take a shower, and run to the store for the wine and goodies we’ll need this weekend.  It’s the day before the National Walk for Epilepsy!  Our third time walking without Josh.....I’m trying not to focus on the sadness it brings, but rather concentrate on the good we’re doing for epilepsy awareness.

Once again our friends will show up at our side to hold our hands and walk with us.  Oh, how we need their strength and love during this time!!!  This includes my two sisters of different mothers who will race in from Ohio to walk with us, and also offer our annual toast in our angel glasses to one sweet and ornery boy who touched our lives so deeply.

It’s one of those rare times each year when we get to talk about Joshua’s antics and laugh til it hurts. It’s so nice to hear his name in normal conversation.  During these moments, it’s more like he’s grown and moved somewhere rather than taken from us by SUDEP.

The weather once again looks iffy. The first year we woke up to snow on the ground but just as the walk began, the clouds parted and we had a gorgeous day.  The second year was chilly again but we tore off clothing with each step as the sun once again showed.  This year fresh on the tail of a gorgeous week, a cold front with gusts and rain is gathering outside.  Sigh, if I had my druthers, I would wish for a gorgeous day of 70 ish with sunshine, but just like this whole journey, nothing has been as I would wish it to be.  It makes us great at “off the cuff” responses.

No matter what is thrown our way, we’ll bundle up, strip down, do whatever it takes to show our support to those who continue to live with epilepsy. 

So now I gotta go grab a shower, run to the store, finish cleaning so I can meet my friends at the door, act like I’ve done nothing all day. 

Our goal for today?  Avoid spilling our wine as we laugh til it hurts. 

Tomorrow?  We walk for Josh! 
 http://giving.epilepsyfoundation.org/site/TR/Walk/walk?pg=team&fr_id=1960&team_id=25250
 

Hugs!
Sherri

Because HE Lives, I CAN Face Tomorrow

It's Easter Sunday and we are sitting quietly following a very simple but enlightening Sunrise Service.  No big fanfare, but rather quiet peace.

Before Joshua died, I looked at Easter as a joyful time with our children.  Dying eggs, preparing a special Easter meal, enjoying the huge smiles as the kids discovered their baskets filled with candy and trinkets.  Oh, those giggles.....and little feet scurrying around the house searching for Easter eggs.  Moments of Joy!

After Joshua died, I began to look at Easter from a mother's perspective....from one mother who had lost her child to another.  We all are taught that Jesus was born of a the Virgin Mary, but I think we sometimes forget that Mary became a mom of a son she loved, nurtured, guided, and protected.

Even though she knew her son was the Son Of God and would have a mission to fulfill, it couldn't be easy as His mother.  The heckling, name calling, the abuses.   Oh how fervently she must have prayed for his safety.

Mary loved her son for 33 years when the day arrived that she had been dreading.  For several hours she watched helplessly as her sweet son was unjustly judged by the leaders of the church she had  known her whole life.  These supposed leaders of the church allowed her son to be beaten to near unconsciousness. As a mother I can imagine how she would gladly take the beatings for him.....her love for him is so strong.  She would gladly cover him, do whatever it took to make the pain go away, but she can't.

Her son is ordered to carry an incredibly heavy wooden cross, bearing the weight against his freshly torn flesh.  He stumbles to the ground, his body exhausted.  A large man named Simon takes this burden from her sweet boy.  Oh, the relief!

A top a barren hilltop, where He is left to hang attached by His own hands and feet in the scorching sun and he is visibly suffering, she can do nothing for him.

He looks at her with complete love and speaks to her one more time; what a gift to have loving final words with your child though how heart wrenching.  He looks to the heavens and declares "It Is Done!" Her tears come without restraint and the strange noises she hears are her own cries of grief.  Her son is dead!

She meticulously helps prepare his broken body and lays him softly to rest even as her heart has given up.

For three days she is inconsolable.  Don't they understand?  HER SON IS DEAD!  She knows it is for the good of the world, but at this very moment all she knows is her heart aches. 

Then on third day, she gets the gift so many of us wish we were to receive....She gets to see her son one more time and He is at Peace!  He is at Peace....can you imagine?    She gets to see that His Life made such a difference, and she sees that He is going to heaven. Oh the Joy!

 

This brings a tear to my eye and a moment of Peace in my heart because I know I am the reason Jesus went through so much.  I know I will one day meet Joshua at gate and he will grab me by the hand and say, "C'mon Mom, I want you to meet the One who has been taking such good care of me.  His name is Jesus".

Because HE Lives, I CAN Face Tomorrow.

Happy Easter!
Hugs,
Sherri






 

Sometimes ya just need a little home!

I went home to Ohio this past weekend to attend my college roommates House Warming Party.  Pink, recently returned to her hometown, bought a fixer upper and plans to bring this cute house back to its' splendor.  This is a pretty big undertaking for a single woman with grown kids.

I thought it was well worth the five-hour drive just to see her and our third roomie, Marcia, if only for the weekend.  They warm my heart, make me jiggle giggle, and forget about life for a while.

It never even occurred to me to ask Brad to go with me.  I knew he would be trying to get in some last golf of the season, plus I needed someone to let out the dog and feed Stealth Kitty.  Honestly, it's a good thing I didn't take him since the house had some low ceilings, and he would never have fit in the shower.  A grown up shower will be built shortly so we'll take him next time.

The weekend was a great escape from city livin' complete with some good old American livin'...... the Annual Cider Festival was in full gear across the street with its bright lights, music and addicting lard foods.  To get over my disappointment  when the one and only apple press broke down on the first day, I got my hands on some deep fried Oreos...it sounds yucky but let me tell ya, they are addictive.  We will turn a blind eye to the calorie count on them..

After staying up til the wee hours chatting like teenagers about everything with Pink,  I woke up the next morning screaming for caffeine.  Let me ask you....when does coffee move from a 'nice way to start the day' to 'must have or the world will suffer?'

After some caffeine intake, we decided we needed to get Pink's place in order for the party and I was busy in the yard when Brad called.  "What ya doin?" 
S- Weedin'! 
B- Hmmmm.  What's Pink doin'? 
S- Mowin' the Lawn! 
B- Boy, you girls sure know how to have a good time!

This is a far cry from what we were doing in college, but ya know what, we're ok with that.  We have grown up and we now behave like model citizens...
most of the time....
some of the time.....
well.....we try.....



 Marcia, Pink and Me
 

Cars start rollin' in and we are quickly in a full blown party but no Marcia.  Two hours later still no Marcia, so I called her to nicely tell her to get her tush there.  I'm not sure I was very gracious when she told me she was busy gettin' her nails done!!!!  I drive five hours to see her and she is getting her nails done?  Sigh...she is so lucky I love her!  An hour later I see her familiar mini coupe and the antics begin. 

Pink's kids are all there with their sweeties.  It's been way too long since I've seen them.  I love all our kids...between the three of us we have ten children... within the ten we have three college students, two weddings in the works, and 1 new police officer, so they keep us hoppin'.  Pink's older daughter was our summer nanny when we were overseas, and all but two have walked with us for epilepsy so far.  I have changed their diapers, bribed them with ice cream, and they have all held my hand tight and made me stronger in my weaker moments over the last two years.

About an hour into the party, Britt started texting me from Oklahoma to remind me to behave because she knows things get a little crazy with the roomies around.  It's not anything we plan, it's just our chemistry.  We are all so different but we are a good fit and apparently, a good source of entertainment even when all we're doing is sittin' there.

The party winds down just as the Cider Festival fireworks are set off just for me(let me live my delusions on this one please).  I'm standing there arms around my roomies, and in that moment I am happy.   Me the bereaved mom, Pink the newly divorced empty nester in her new home, and Marcia, the crazy woman whose mouth would put sailors to shame, and I love them dearly!

The next morning it was a quick bite at the Annual Pancake breakfast to benefit the soccer league before heading back to the fast paced life of DC.

Friendships and family have become all the more precious to me since losing Josh and weekends like this make life a little easier!

Hugs!
Sherri