It's All Gone to the Dogs!

Everyone says it’s summer, but it takes me a moment to realize they're right!  Wow, how life has changed!  My summer used to be all about keeping the kids entertained, but now it’s about going to work, and only baring those glowing white legs in shorts on the weekend while I clean the house and do chores.  I haven’t seen the neighborhood pool in two years.

Don’t cry for me though, a couple of weeks ago I went to Nassau, Bahamas, with the women in my family for a lovely Girl’s Weekend.  This is a tradition that spans well over a decade.  On the first one to New York City, my sister-in-law was pregnant with my niece, and now on this trip,  “almost 16” year old Kayla joined us.  It’s a weekend to enjoy our girliness.  There’s always a spa visit involved, shopping, and a show…this time was Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga…a very interesting choice.

Mom and Stephi share a hug

We’re a pretty close family, so getting along is never an issue, and given the setting, it was a few days in paradise.  We played with dolphins, enjoyed some great food, and just basked in the bright colors and glorious sunsets of paradise. 

Lori and Me with our girls and a new friend.

Note to self:  When spraying aerosol sunscreen on your back, you must actually spray directly in the direction of your back, or you will get sunburned.  I thought I sprayed my back, but a few hours later, it was beet red.  Always the good wife, I blamed Brad, who was back in Virginia!  For 25 years he always applied lotion to my back so I was out of practice contorting my body to make sure I self-covered.

Meanwhile back home, Brad was dealing with heartbreak when our sweet old Yankee boy suffered a major neurological event which left him paralyzed. 

Moments before Yankee learned to jump into waves.

How could I not know this was happening?  I couldn’t access my email account for some reason.  Stephi could, so after a couple of days of sun and fun, I asked her to write to her dad and let him know I was thinking of him, but unable to email.  His response included the string of emails sharing the sad reality of Yankee’s illness.  The next day Brad sent a lovingly written note letting us know Yankee was gone.  For him it had been 4 heart-wrenching days, for us, it had only been  minutes to absorb what happened.

I was immediately overtaken by grief.  I not only mourned the loss of my loving furry companion, but I lost one more piece of my life with Josh.  I could barely speak as I sputtered out the news to Britt and Stephi who both immediately crumbled in tears.  This was the pup of their childhood; The last pet they shared with their brother. 

Sweet Yankee Boy!

The next day we returned to the same house we left only 5 days before, but it was so different.  For the first time in thirteen years there was no wagging tail to greet us.  I saw his things in the garage, and the medical supplies sat in the corner, serving as testament to Brad’s heroics efforts.  There was a paw print in clay on the counter;  This along with his collar became instant treasures.

The silence was starting to get to me....after a couple of weeks the quiet is too much.  When a cat you nickname Stealth Kitty is the only noise in the house, something's gotta change!
I started looking through the various shelter websites for our next pup, much to Brad's chagrin.  He has dreams of jumping on a jet and seeing the world at a moment's notice, but he knows me and loves me enough to support my search for a new family dog. 

We decided to forgo the puppy stage and adopt a non-shedding small dog from a local shelter.  It seemed innocent enough.  The first weekend, Stephi and I laid out our roadmap to visit three shelters that had dogs which met our criteria.  I was very hopeful for the first one;  An adorable Havanese who looked so happy in his beautifully posed photo.  The initial hello was great, so we asked to meet him.  This adorable dog bounced into the room, said hello to us, instantly saw the toys, and went into piranha mode “killing” every toy in the room.  Turns out he was returned for doing that to cats…..this was not a good match for Stealth Kitty, so we had to say goodbye.

The other dogs were adopted before we arrived, and all that was left were big and beautiful shedding babies.  Not a good mix for one with asthma tendencies.  As time went on, every time I found a potential dog, he/she was adopted before my eyes.  I even started to fall for the adorable puppies, but Brad held his ground.

Who knew it would be this competitive?   I was growing impatient and slightly obsessive, so I stepped it up and recruited both girls to search with me.  Together we scoured shelter websites daily.  Finally, we all noticed the same adorable mini doodle named Alex. I immediately called about him, and was actually asked to submit an application.  I took this as a positive sign.

How hard could it be?

Let me just say I am so glad I didn’t have to fill out this application when my babies were born because I’m not sure I would have passed.  I understand the thought and heart behind it, but it is a bit intimidating.  I  suddenly wondered if I had the muster to raise this pup after caring for 5 dogs,  4 cats, 6 hamsters, 4 turtles and 20 fish.

I emailed my application within minutes.   Now all I can do is sit and wait.  God Grant me Patience, but do it now. 

While our country is celebrating Independence Day, I hope to be cuddling a new friend.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Hugs!
Sherri

Friendship isn’t about who you’ve known the longest, but it’s about who came and never left your side. ~Unknown

Friday Night Pizza

Friday night is Pizza Night in our house.   I can’t remember exactly when it became a tradition, though I do remember little Newmanette hands squishing flour, yeast and water together when we lived overseas.

There have been times in our married life when Brad and I looked at ways to cut costs, and pizza delivery always made it on the cut list.  One time we even wrote it down and discussed with the kids that we had to stop ordering pizza so we could pay for their soccer, piano lessons and the shirts on their backs.  (A little guilt goes a long ways)
While the girls seemed to understand, Josh wanted no part of that!  He HAD to have his Friday pizza; how dare we even consider stopping it!

To help bring him around to the idea, we would talk about making our own pizza, or purchasing more affordable frozen pizzas.  NO WAY!!!! WHAT A TRAVESTY!!! 

Then it began….Josh would alternate between syrupy sweet charm, and heavy  guilt nagging until I would just give up…as a mother you have to learn when to fight your battles, and I could always scale back on those silly things like fruits and vegetables (just kidding!).  His list of why we should keep pizza delivery is a great funny memory.  Oh how I wish I had kept that list!

Guess where we were on a Friday night in 2008?

We tried again in early Fall 2010;   Joshua’s monthly seizure meds were pretty expensive even with insurance, and we were living the American reality of the sandwich generation raising our kids and helping family.  It was becoming clear that I needed to increase my work hours to cover expenses.

Brad in a moment of great enlightenment to his role of husband, left the decision up to me.  I really stressed about it and thought long and hard. I felt so torn,  and certain I was scarring  my children for life; I even had a conversation with each of them about it.  I took extra care with Josh as I knew he would be the most impacted since he was still in elementary school.  So I sat him down, bribed him to stay still for 2 minutes, and I shared with him all the changes that would have to be made.  He would have to help keep the house tidy, make sure dishes went into the dishwasher and start working on his homework on his own, etc.

He thoughtfully pondered my words for a moment before asking… “Does this mean we get to keep Friday Night Pizza?”  I about laughed myself off the chair!  The thought process of a child is an incredible thing!  I  hadn’t actually  thought about impact on pizza night in all my sleepless nights,  but after a moment  I answered “yes”.  To which he responded, just a bit too eagerly in my opinion,  “OK Mom, you need to work more then!”

A short time later I was offered a full time assignment and accepted.  It was during this time of impending change in our lives that something bigger hit us!  Joshua's sudden and completely unexpected death from SUDEP! 

There are lots of stories and emotions that have come from this experience of loss.  Calling my new supervisor to explain my great loss and offering her a graceful out if she didn’t want to deal with an emotionally empty employee who was sure to break out in tears without warning.  She refused my offer and I started working fulltime two weeks after burying my sweet ornery one.  Wow, how did I do that?  It had to be God and the prayers of our friends and family holding me up.

Somehow we’ve made it through so far and have realized how the smallest thing can bring a tear or smile.  Tonight when I heard the familiar “pizza’s here” and grabbed a slice, Joshua just came to mind and  I couldn’t help myself….I just started giggling.  Not only do we still order pizza two + years later, but now I couldn’t imagine NOT ordering it. It’s kinda a connection to a family tradition we've had since we were a complete family of 5.

They say many bereaved parents have a hard time giving up the grief and guilt because it’s a  connection to their beloved child.  Leave it to me to turn to something else....Friday Night Pizza.

If heaven didn’t have pizza before, I feel pretty sure they do now and it's a pretty busy place on Friday nights! 

Hugs!

Sherri