Another Angel in Heaven

I went into the store looking for a cardigan sweater to wear in my REALLY cold office, and came out stressed and in a really bad mood.  On the drive home, I got really ticked off at all those drivers who seemed to cut me off, or who cut over way too short.  They were sooooo aggressive!  Oh, and it took way too long to get home tonight!!!

When I finally did make it home, and walked in my house, all I wanted to do was sit and stare at the ceiling fan. 

Arrrgggggghhhhh, what is wrong with me?  I feel like that Snickers commercial where the person is really crabby, only a candy bar won’t cure what ails me.

I know what it is…..I recognize the symptoms….AMBUSH meltdown! 

Another of Joshua’s classmates was tragically killed this week.  Bennett was killed trying to rescue a friend who had been knocked unconscious when he stepped on a live wire.  Tragically, as he made his way to his friend, Bennett also became entangled in live wires and was killed instantly.

Moments after Bennett's accident, friends started texting, calling and sending notes on Facebook offering hugs and words of encouragement cuz they know the scab was just yanked off my heart.  I tried to immediately go into survival numb mode, but then the mood hit today.  I should know by now, there’s just no hiding from the pain of loss, and new loss brings me back to that awful November day every time. 

This is the third death in Joshua’s class; it's also the third loss in our church, so our congregation is once again faced with great loss and embracing a grieving family.

At times like this, I feel a little like Sister May from “The Secret Life of Bees”.  May is the sister who is so sensitive to the life around her that it just makes her ache at times.  In the book, May's ends her pain;  Me? I just try to catch my breath and then help where I can. 

Uncle!!!! I have dealt with depression most of my life, and fortunately, have found  low-dosage medication to balance me out.  I recently took a break from the meds, but with the loss of my close friend Erika a month ago,  Joshua’s birthday, and now this, I realize it’s time to take them again. 

I know there may still be a stigma associated with treating anxiety and depression with meds, but for myself, I decided several years ago that I would rather feel good and really be present with my loved ones, than worry about what people think.   

My mind goes back to Bennett's family.  What they are going through now, what lies ahead as they realize their new normal...sigh....Please keep Bennett’s family in your prayers!

 

Hugs!
Sherri