Holiday Traditions-Who Needs Them?

Life observation for the week....all those years ya try to instill "holiday traditions" into your kids and it's like pulling teeth to get them to do it. Now they return home from college and are just all over ya with those same holidays traditions.....it's like pulling teeth to get me to do them. lol! ~Sherri

Christmas 2009

We are in the middle of the college invasion.  The girls are back home on Winter Break, and their friends are beginning to swoop down on the house.  Oh how I love these times!  The house has been so quiet with everyone gone in one way or another.  The only noise we hear is Stealth Kitty’s daily run through the house at lightening speed, and Yankee giving his one bark to remind us that we have left him outside longer than 2 minutes, and it’s time for his nap.

This has been a busy season for work.  I’ve travelled, and put in some serous overtime, which helps me not think about how we are now premature empty nesters, but it also limits my ability to  “make the house cozy."

Pretty much all the Christmas decorating I did this year was November 29th right after Joshua’s 5K when the girls were going on and on about Christmas “we do this and we do that,” so I went downstairs and dug out the 20 boxes full of Christmas Cheer, and pulled out......

1. One prelit Christmas tree which we decorated with White House Ornaments and red white and blue ornaments collected over the last 25 years.

2.  One beloved Nativity set we purchased during our time overseas when the Newmanettes were still debuting into this world

Photo taken by Josh

 

3.  One the Dickens Village we received as a wedding gift 23 years ago. 

4.  One stairwell garland.

A few tzatkes, and some candles.  It was enough for me to build up a sweat, so I feel good about my efforts.  I emptied about 6 of the 20 boxes and the other remain almost untouched.

The live tree didn’t happen this year, the Dining room was not transformed into the room of the Merry Feast;  The angel for the lawn remains in the basement, but luckily, Brad decorated the outside while I was gone and it looks nice and festive.

Who’s got the energy to do it all?  Who wants to? Josh was always after me during this time of year to bake cookies, decorate, put on the music.  Now that he's gone, there’s no youthful energy in the house, there’s a sadness even four years out that just settles on us and zaps our energy.  There are more times when we quietly wipe away tears since this is the time of year that families around us are bubbling over with sports award ceremonies, musical concerts, and family gatherings.  

It does help having the girls home.  I asked them what they wanted to do, and I expect their schedules to be full of friends, but they respond,  “Mom, we gotta make the cutout cookies,”  “Mom we gotta watch our Christmas movies,”  “Mom, when are we going out driving to look at the lights?” “Mom, we gotta go to Christmas Eve service,” 

Traditions are so very important to them!  They bring stability, remind them of happy times, and keeps our family close.  Oftentimes, the grief books suggest you change traditions.  Come up with new ones to help ease the pain of the holidays without your loved one, but we have found that any attempt to change our traditions, sends everyone into a frenzy; it’s the traditions we instilled into our family fabric that bring the strength and peace our family leans on to get through another season without Josh. 

It may take a jump start from my girls to get me going, but it’s an effort well worth it.

For those of you who have an empty stocking at the chimney; an empty chair at the table, and a hole in your heart this season, may your traditions and loved ones bring you peace and joy this Christmas Season.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.  Luke 2:11

Hugs,

Sherri

Seeking Happy Moments in this New Year

I know I know, I've been avoiding life lately.  It's true.  I simplified my life as much as possible as we prepared to experience our 2nd Christmas without Joshua.  We prepared the best we could, I found a beautiful lit angel and surrounded the outside with lights.

We bought presents and put them under the tree and held our breath.  I have to say I surprised myself with my ability to "keep it together" for the sake of our girls.  We made the choice to stay at home and not spend the holidays travelling to be with extended family...that was a wise choice.

The rest of the holidays went fine.....I know that's not very descriptive, but it's the best I can do.  We made it through...had some laughs, had some tears, saw some good movies, and made it through.  Even escaped for a long weekend and visited with my brother and his family.

My brother has been a rock in my world over the last year...I'm not saying I'm surprised, I'm saying I'm so grateful to have someone who knows me so well that I look up in a moment of need, and he is there.  I feel the need to talk, and the phone rings...it's my brother.  I am in a wicked mood and want to be nasty...I call my brother..he's used to it, been that way for over 40 years now.

We also celebrated my birthday....not so exciting other than I am now typing on my brand new laptop thanks to my darling hubby, though I have to ask, is this kinda like receiving a vacuum or blender?  hmmmm

The big event came as we celebrated 18 years of motherhood.....Brittany turned 18!!!!  I wish I could say it's hard to believe, but it's been a long 18 years..not complaining, just been involved in every minute over the last 18 and I am so grateful I have this sweet young woman in my life.

Now that we are in 2012, I have some choices ahead....I was not able to wish anyone a Happy New Year.. I'm just not there this year, but perhaps over the next 12 months, my heart will mend enough to begin enjoying those magical moments waiting ahead such as watching my oldest walk across the stage to receive her diploma,  followed shortly at summer's end by leaving her at college and not looking back for fear of her seeing my complete meltdown.

I truly do hope to someday on the sooner side be able to add a "Happy" to the hope of a new year, and to get there I will look for that moment in everyday where you can find a smile.  For now it will be a hopeful "May you find a happy moment in every day this year".

Hugs,

Sherri

Splash of Joy

Today was a good day!  In fact, it was a very good day in a difficult year long journey that began when I went to awaken my ornery one and found he had gained his wings.

Joshua is the youngest of my three children.  Yes, I have three children and while I have lost one from this world, I have two lovely daughters very much alive with dreams that are coming a step closer everyday. 

My oldest daughter Brittany is a high school senior with big hopes and dreams.  She has suffered greatly with the loss of her little brother Joshua; She has overcome grief induced depression to reclaim her bubbly personality.  She has shown me a strength and faith that I am in awe of. 

Brittany has long had dreams of becoming a storm chaser...it's all my fault.  I let them watch "Twister" when they were little and she loved it. So did Josh, so much so, that one day in the grocery store, he let out a string of profanities that I recognized were from the same movie.  My response?  It sat on the shelf for two years until they could learn to use good judgement.

Now the day approaches, where Brittany will leave us in a less permanent way but it will be difficult for certain....more change....ughhh.  Can't things stay the same?  We have visited several campuses..... she knows where she wants to go, and I am panic-stricken....University of Oklahoma is sooo far from Virginia.  I have already lost one child, how can I bear to lose my oldest and then her sister two years following?  I am hyperventilating just thinking about this.  If she needs me, how can I get to her quickly?  If she falls and gets hurt, who will catch her?

 I know in my heart what I must do.  I have raised them to be self sustaining, independent citizens and now the time has come to trust my teaching and molding.

Today it arrived in the mail....the Holy Grail of parcels.....the acceptance to University of Oklahoma.   I take the package to her and she opens it up and cries tears of joy...can that be?  Joy?  She wanted this so badly, has gone through so much this last year, and finally, yes finally, something is going right in her life. Her tears are contagious and I hold her in my arms as I have done since she was first laid in them almost 18 years ago.  How can that be?  She was just 4 yesterday.....

Later this evening, the house is bustling with laughter and teenergy.  There are a dozen teenagers enjoying time together as they celebrate this holiday season.  I say holiday as there are christian, Jewish, and other faiths gathered together to celebrate friendship in the season of giving.  Her friend looks over at her and says, "Brittany, you look happy" She really does!

My younger daughter Stephi sits quietly reading with our new kitten nuzzling her neck.  She is still discovering her dreams, but they are coming, and she is very busy caring for and taking charge of this new "stealth kitty".  Thank goodness his collar has a bell on it so we can keep track of him.  I thank God she will be here a little longer to watch over.

Today is truly a splash of joy in our lives.  A dark cloud has threatened as I lament that one ornery boy is not here to show his excitement, but I can imagine him looking down and then leaping for joy and suddenly the darkness lifts.

This is surely the first of many good days...how will my heart cope with joy?

Hugs,

Sherri