Too many toilets

It's 4 am and I am WIDE AWAKE!!! Yikes!

Britt is almost through her first week of college and seems to be adjusting.  She’s a bit lonely, but time will bring friendships and cafeteria buddies.  Her drop off was only a major ordeal because we were 1 of 4,000 families grabbing the same elevators to get moved into smallish rooms with bad furniture.   Lucky for us, only the polite crowds showed up on our vators.

I would like to have counted all the hefting around and step climbing as a "work out" but I forgot my pedometer so I have no proof or idea how far we walked.  My legs kept telling me it was a lot though.

All the while we were at OU, I kept thinking about how much Josh would love seeing the football players we saw. While we were in the bookstore,  there was a wall of these huge moving mountains getting their books and I could see in them what  he would have likely resembled in a few short years. Those kind of thoughts when they hit just get me riled and ticked off!   

Once we got Britt settled in and unpacked, it was time for our tearful goodbyes.  While I was prepared to totally lose it on her, Brad beat me to it.  By the time it was my turn, it was actually a bit anticlimatic since I was all cried out watching them.  I was like "Bye kid, see ya in October."  

Ok, maybe I've slightly exaggerated, but as I said goodbye I went back to Britt on her first day of kindergarten.  While many moms followed their child's bus with tears streaming, I was thrilled to have her enjoy her first day.  Once I put her safely on the bus, it was like, "Anyone wanna  go to Starbucks to celebrate? My child's on a new adventure today!"  

I always think of these moments like that Disney commercial where the little girl exclaims "I've been waiting my whole life for this!"  We found photos of Brittany's 4th birthday party and in the background on the television was the move "Twister" which inspired her to go to school to be a "storm chaser".  She truly has been waiting her whole life for this!

My friends are concerned.  They have either called or written to help me get through this seemingly traumatic change in my world.  They feel I must really be terribly upset that less than two years after my youngest gained his wings,  my oldest is so far away at college.....honestly, I don't feel it yet.  I know I will hear all about it, and will experience this new chapter through her eyes.  That makes me very happy.  The real trial will be the call with tears on the other end and I can't reach through and pull her to me.  When that happens, look out world, mama Bear is on the rampage!

While I truly appreciate that so many friends are worried about me now that Britt is at college, I was so grateful for the one who caught on to what has really been bothering me.  Stephi  home alone!  

Never mind that she was not supposed to be the last one at home.   Never mind that there were supposed to be four plates at the table, not three.  We don't even outnumber the toilets in our house anymore.  That alone makes me sad...I loved coming home from a road trip and everyone running to a bathroom with one person having to wait for a turn.  Now there is an extra one.    Who would ever think toilets could make you sad?!

I have to admit that Stephi doesn't seem to be bothered as much as I am.  In fact, she seems to be handling it beautifully.  She doesn't have to share the car with her sister, run her brother around, or even put up with either of their aggravations, though I'll bet you, she would happily do as much running as Josh needed and wishes he was here to tattle on.

Brad and I have noticed how big the house suddenly feels and how it's quiet, too quiet here.  So much change does make ya wonder what you're gonna do with your life and how you lived before you had kids.  We have two years of enjoying Stephi and all that she does, though our participation is somewhat limited since she now drives and is truly 16 going on 29!

So, here’s to yet another chapter of life unrevealed, and one I hope is truly uneventful for a bit...  I am happy to turn on my skype and live my life vicariously through my girls for a little while.

Hugs to you all during this busy school season!

Sherri

Guiding Light

Oh how I wish I could talk to my Aunt Gen... she would know what to do.

Aunt Genevieve "Gen" was the youngest of my grandmother's 7 siblings. She was an absolute delight and full of light and love. When I was a teenager, I learned that Aunt Gen had lost an 8 year old daughter, Jean, to illness. I remember asking her if she was sad and she being very practical said she didn't have time to be, she had 7 other children who needed their mother.....her reason to live showed itself instantly.

Over the next 6 decades she continued to give her love freely even as she buried her parents, 7 siblings, her husband of 53 years, another daughter and her great grandson Ethan. Right up to the time of her death a year ago at age 94, she had Jean's picture next to her favorite chair. While she never forgot her sweet daughter she was able to continue living and loving so purely that she was greatly mourned by all of us including her 24 grandchildren and 43 greatgrandchildren.

If she had given up on living when Jean left this earth she would have never seen the blessings God had in store for her. Wondering if I should follow her lead?

Oh how I wish I could talk to her one more time, to find out what was her secret to living, but she doesn't have time for me. I try to be practical and understanding, realizing that she can't help me here on earth because she is holding my Joshua in her gentle embrace, and frankly I am a bit envious of both of them.

There are times when I would love nothing more than to be with them, but I know there is a plan for me and while it may not show itself today, or I may never know exactly what it is, I will keep doing what I'm doing until the day comes that someone in my family can tell the story of "Aunt Sherri who was an absolute delight and full of light and love. Right up to the time of her death, she had Joshua's picture next to her favorite chair. She never forgot her sweet boy. She also was greatly mourned by all of us including her grandchildren and greatgrandchildren."

Thank you Aunt Gen for your love and guidance. You are loved and you are dearly missed.