Ducklings and Fairies

I woke up with slightly swollen wet eyes, and the pillow was wet.  It took a second for the conscious to catch up to my subconscious.  Ohhhh...It's Joshua’s 18^th birthday.

I wouldn’t allow myself to “go there” yesterday; and I always try to keep  June 8^th at arm’s length, but it still comes!

I remember when I LOVED June 8^th.  I remember teaching Josh his birthday so he could answer the question, “When is your birthday?”  “June Ayyyfff”.

He was so excited when he answered....he was just so darn excited about his birthday every year.

How can a great day turn so dark, so quickly?!  I was pretty despondent all morning, and the tears just kept coming as I hit YouTube to listen to those meaningful songs like Mercy Me’s “Home”.  It's Ok, there are times when wallowing is allowed and therapeutic.  Brad stopped over from time to time to sit quietly and give me a hug.  He knows I grieve quietly and alone. 

But then...IT WAS TIME TO PICK UP THE CUPCAKES!

Yep, the cupcake Fairy strikes again!

90 green cupcakes with sprinkles were sitting right there in plain sight in the bakery waiting for us.  90 shots of color cutting through the darkness surrounding my mood. 

We picked them up, grabbed some napkins and headed off to deliver them to the 6^th graders at the Newmannettes’ elementary school.  Our school has always been so supportive and caring towards our family.  That first year when we wanted to fulfill Joshua’s wish to give cupcakes for his birthday treat, they agreed without second thought.  A simple gesture became a tradition that brings giggles and laughter from the kids, and helps us find our joy on an otherwise dark day.  The kids love a visit from the cupcake fairy and even tell the rising 6th graders, "and in June, the cupcake fairy brings green cupcakes with sprinkles!" 

We always take a few moments to say hello to those special teachers;  This year, a familiar face for many years in the life of our kids, is now the Principal.  Oh, that smile!

While we were there, the full 6^th grade passed by wearing duck caps.  Hmmm, this is not a normal fashion accessory, but then it suddenly hit me...  "The ducklings have hatched!"  Yep!  A long time tradition at our school is to get duck eggs as part of a science project.  The kids always anxiously await the pending hatching and when they hatch, it's time to celebrate!  Cupcakes and the duckling celebration in the same day....how awesome is that!!!  When the project is over, the ducklings are taken to a ‘no kill’ duck farm to lay the next generation of duck eggs for the next 6^th grade celebration.

Suddenly, out of the blue, I heard my name, and turned around to see our sweet neighbor.  This sweet guy has been so good to me over the years.  His mom was in that final waddling phase of pregnancy when we moved in next door, so we have known him his whole life.  He was always the little brother trailing the big kids in and out of the house as our kids were growing up.  When Josh died and people didn't know what to do, he would stop what he was doing when he saw me and just give me hugs.  There he was with his big smile!  He is one of the few who still know the story behind the cupcakes, and he was so excited to finally get one.

In that instance, with just that little smile and hello, I went from despondent, to feeling love.  Yes, it is truly the little things that bring joy.

After our little adventure, I dropped everyone off at home to do their own thing, and picked up my cemetery bag.  I’ll bet there aren’t too many people who have one of those.  Mine holds cleaning items, gardening tools, florist wire and wire cutters.  I went to pick out some flowers, and then went over to the cemetery to take care of Joshua’s stone.  I held the bouquet together with some florist wire, and  lovingly placed them in the vase and tapped his stone as I stepped away.  I always have to stop to say hello to our other next door neighbor who is in his final resting place directly across from Josh, and thank him for watching over my baby. 

Then I came home, and went immediately to my special place on the patio surrounded by my beautiful butterfly garden, listening to the water fall from the fountain the girls gave me for that first Mother’s Day, to just be and dream.

Later that evening, this was what waited for me on Facebook. 

Six years ago I was blessed to have an angel in my science class. Happy Birthday in heaven, Joshua! The cupcake fairies made an appearance again this year in your honor. Green frosting was on everyone's lips and my heart was full of memories of you and your amazing family!

Little things seem nothing, but they give peace, like those meadow flowers which individually seem odorless but all together perfume the air. ~Georges Bernanos

Happy Birthday Joshie! 

Hugs,

Sherri