We have finished a whirlwind of events in Joshua's honor. On March 27th we marched on the National Mall in Washingtion DC with over 5,000 others from across the US and beyond to bring awareness to epilepsy.
Months of planning for the National Walk for Epilepsy seemed in jeopardy as we awoke to find snow on the windshields, cold temperatures and less than desirable walking conditions. I readily admit I would have loved to turn over and fallen back to sleep...but I didn't.
I didn't expect many people to show up so when I turned the corner to our meeting place and saw a huge crowd of familiar faces, I almost dropped right there. 128 people came out on a frigid morning to walk with us in honor of our ornery and loveable little boy. I was at a loss of words to express my gratitude so I fell back into old habits and just started hugging anything that was in wool and cotton.
The weather remained gloomy but as we began our walk, the clouds gave way to reveal a beautiful sun. Our walk was a heartwarming, beautiful walk where I met and hugged many families living with epilepsy or remembering loved ones lost to epilepsy. I was given the purple shirt signifying an epileptic in Joshua's honor and felt assured that many lives were touched by the experience including myself.
I hug everyone...always have. I have buttons from college that say I love hugs! Never did I realize such a simple act could have an impact on people. A hug has become the perfect aid to uncomfortable looks and speechless expressions when folks want to show their support.
During the darkest of moments, it is the hugs with lots of prayers that have kept me afloat. My flashbacks with my children so often are the hugs we have shared. I am so blessed to have given innumerable hugs to my little guy throughout his life, and it was something he never shied away from even in those "tweenager boy" years. It is the memories of hugs that keep me warm when I am alone and hugs that remain a major part of my family life.
Last night we attended the annual charity basketball game organized by Joshua's school, to show our support to a great community that has stood by us through our loss. Joshua's friends and classmates greeted me with hugs as I walked through the crowd wearing his 6th grade class shirt with all their signatures.
As we sat there watching the games, I started to realize how many of these kids I have known since preschool days. All was going well until Brad and I both realized the 6th grade boys would soon be playing their game and how one very excited boy was missing. I was suddenly caught up in thoughts of what should be. If we were in the old normal, I would have been working the game in some capacity and cheering on my wired 6th grade basketball player who would have come up afterwards all stinky and red in the face looking for a hug. He would have whined to me for having to run so much and would have wanted money for snacks. I as his dutiful mother, would have hugged him hard as I assured him running was good for him and slipped him a little money with warnings to "not buy junk". Oh how I miss those hugs!
As my husband and I walked out of the school hand in hand, not a word said between us, I knew at that moment, there is a long road still ahead, and I must now fill "shoulda beens" with "gotta do's" . One constant throughout all the normals of my life however, will remain the hug.
May you be blessed with hugs a plenty today!
Sherri
Months of planning for the National Walk for Epilepsy seemed in jeopardy as we awoke to find snow on the windshields, cold temperatures and less than desirable walking conditions. I readily admit I would have loved to turn over and fallen back to sleep...but I didn't.
I didn't expect many people to show up so when I turned the corner to our meeting place and saw a huge crowd of familiar faces, I almost dropped right there. 128 people came out on a frigid morning to walk with us in honor of our ornery and loveable little boy. I was at a loss of words to express my gratitude so I fell back into old habits and just started hugging anything that was in wool and cotton.
The weather remained gloomy but as we began our walk, the clouds gave way to reveal a beautiful sun. Our walk was a heartwarming, beautiful walk where I met and hugged many families living with epilepsy or remembering loved ones lost to epilepsy. I was given the purple shirt signifying an epileptic in Joshua's honor and felt assured that many lives were touched by the experience including myself.
I hug everyone...always have. I have buttons from college that say I love hugs! Never did I realize such a simple act could have an impact on people. A hug has become the perfect aid to uncomfortable looks and speechless expressions when folks want to show their support.
During the darkest of moments, it is the hugs with lots of prayers that have kept me afloat. My flashbacks with my children so often are the hugs we have shared. I am so blessed to have given innumerable hugs to my little guy throughout his life, and it was something he never shied away from even in those "tweenager boy" years. It is the memories of hugs that keep me warm when I am alone and hugs that remain a major part of my family life.
Last night we attended the annual charity basketball game organized by Joshua's school, to show our support to a great community that has stood by us through our loss. Joshua's friends and classmates greeted me with hugs as I walked through the crowd wearing his 6th grade class shirt with all their signatures.
As we sat there watching the games, I started to realize how many of these kids I have known since preschool days. All was going well until Brad and I both realized the 6th grade boys would soon be playing their game and how one very excited boy was missing. I was suddenly caught up in thoughts of what should be. If we were in the old normal, I would have been working the game in some capacity and cheering on my wired 6th grade basketball player who would have come up afterwards all stinky and red in the face looking for a hug. He would have whined to me for having to run so much and would have wanted money for snacks. I as his dutiful mother, would have hugged him hard as I assured him running was good for him and slipped him a little money with warnings to "not buy junk". Oh how I miss those hugs!
As my husband and I walked out of the school hand in hand, not a word said between us, I knew at that moment, there is a long road still ahead, and I must now fill "shoulda beens" with "gotta do's" . One constant throughout all the normals of my life however, will remain the hug.
May you be blessed with hugs a plenty today!
Sherri
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