Snowy Day

The DC area shuts down with the threat of snow.  Coming from the snowbelt, where we tunnel through the snow, and went to school in near white out conditions, this seemed ridiculous to me in the early days.  I was certain I had the stuff….I could effortlessly handle the little dusting they called storm warnings and covered in detail on the news;   

One day I ignored the warnings, went out on the streets and was almost instantly smacked off the road by other drivers not accustomed to driving in snow.  After making a deal with Jesus, I became ONE OF THOSE DRIVERS who pays attention to the threat of snow with both eyes and ears…AND,  I keep my butt off the roads.

So here I sit at home, the Federal Government is closed down, following a lovely Valentine’s weekend  that  brought both girls home unexpectedly.  While I was so happy to see them, I hated what brought them home.

5 days earlier we received the news that my sweet Aunt had completed suicide.  It hit me very hard not only from realizing the wonderful aunt of my childhood memories had taken her own life, but it was  exactly two years to the day when I received a similar call from my friend Nancy.   

The news set off a grief trigger with Brittany and we soon realized we needed to get her home.  Her dad booked a flight using his miles, and her little sister dropped all her plans to drive up to support her sister.  Valentine’s Weekend went from an empty nester nice dinner, to a weekend full of kids who needed comfort and assurance that life would be ok. There were moments when the girls jumped on my bed and I shared stories about my aunt, spoke of Josh, and broke out in delirious giggles.

Sunday night was an unexpected dinner with their cousin and his girlfriend with an eye to the sky looking for snow.

By Monday, with the storm heading our way, we shooed Stephi back to NC , and dropped Britt off at the airport as the snowflakes began to hit.   When her flight was delayed, her dad began to pace and stalk the airline updates.   Three hours later, she was in the air and made it to Houston before she was stuck overnight, but at least her dad stopped his pacing and called it a night.

Joshua loving the toy he received from Great Aunt B

The girls are doing much better, and so am I after having them home for just a little while.  My heart goes out to my cousins, and I can’t help but feel a little jealous of  the warm homecoming my Aunt had at the pearly gates.

 

Aunt B., You are missed, and Loved Forever!

"This world is to be likened to the porch; the world to come unto the palace." --The Talmud

HUGS!

Sherri

When it's just easier to laugh

I'm writing today from the well worn spot in my bed.  A spot that has seen me in it for about 5 days now.   You see, I have been diagnosed with both the flu and whooping cough.  I'm feeling very proud of my choice to have the flu shot last fall as it has obviously failed me miserably, and feeling ever the confused part of  "I have what?" on the pertussis claim from the doctor. 

Let me tell you, it definitely tones the midriff very quickly, and helps those unwanted pounds and inches melt away in short order, but I don't recommend it as the weight loss/cardio workout plan of choice.

As for work, I feel fortunate that sequestration will take several days to take effect, so I am missing work at the "calm before the storm", and I have the most understanding colleagues.

Also fortunate for me, I have discovered a British tv series that lasted seven seasons so I will likely finish it off just in time to return to work with the "all clear, you are no longer contagious and able to spread a deadly virus across the nation" declaration.

Yes, I'm making light of what has been a very hard month.  I am pretty ticked off as I'm sure most of you are with the inability of our nation's leaders to work together to resolve the deficit before the draconian rules of sequestration take effect.  I am heartsad with the death yesterday of yet another dear family friend lost to cancer only one week after diagnosis;  my heart continues to ache as I watch my dear friend Nancy and her family discover the painful transition of life to the 'new normal' after the loss of her handsome son, and I am clearly susceptible to the sappy emotions that hit you when you are the human host of a deadly childhood disease, and just don't feel well. 

All day I have thought of our friend Denny with mixed emotions.  On one hand, I feel so sorry for the two grown sons, grandchildren,  and lovely wife he leaves behind.  On the other hand, I can't help but feel some envy as there was just a wonderful reunion at heaven's gate between a father and son.  You see,  Denny lost his oldest son, Kyle, to an undiagnosed aneurysm at age 23. 

Kyle was my brother's best friend and the two of them were inseparable like brothers.  As a teenage girl, you can imagine how aggravating it was not only to have one stupid, little brother, but two who didn't understand the  importance of looking cool for boys when they came to the house to hang out.  Two immature stupid little boys who left me screaming at the top of my lungs, as they scattered giggling at their latest prank at my expense.  I was so done with these two boys at one point that I swore I would never name any of my children Barry or Kyle.  (I am nearly on the floor wetting myself now as I think of those days...those two little boys.)

Denny, Kyle's father, always understood the boys, and in a special way made them feel it.  It was like magic, and as irritating as it was to a teenage girl, it was still magical to watch.  His calming presence was something I greatly admired.

Lots to think about from a worn spot on the bed, which lends itself to way too much time to think for one's good.  I could break down and lose it to tears, but I think it's just easier to throw your hands up and just laugh. 

Easier to laugh at the fact that I of all people have contracted illnesses I thought I had under control,  laugh at the memory of Kyle and Barry's antics which in one case ultimately led to Denny calmly arranging for them to scrub down a home, and paint the trim for their punishment.  Laughing at the times when Nancy's son and Joshua would passionately bicker to get their way so much that we would send them to the basement playroom and listen to them squabble as we giggled upstairs.  Laugh at the fact that every time I have gone past Joshua's room since I've been sick, his room light has inexplicably turned on...he loved to turn my light on my in the morning as a prank to wake us up.

So I will continue to cope with filling the spot on my bed, leaving messages for my mother to entertain me in my bored state,  ask facebook friends to send jokes, wonder with  amazement at  Stephi's decision to fill her dresser drawers with "stuff" while permanently leaving her clean clothes in piles in her room.  This realized today as I went into her room to find out what kind of birthday cake she wants this week....Oh, and I still have two season to watch on my British series if the cotton-pickin satellite feed would just come through the sweeping rainstorm outside. 

 A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones. Proverbs 17:22

In other words, when nothing else will help, you just gotta laugh!

Sending Hugs,
Sherri

Broken Valentine - When Everyone Prays

November 20, 2010, is the worst day of my life.  It is the day I went to awaken Josh to help me paint our fence and found he had passed away as a result of SUDEP.  Hours later when they came to take him from our home, my natural response was to crumple to the ground in complete despair.  At that moment, a gentle and familiar voice took me by the arms and brought me into her embrace.  I looked up to see the lovely face of my dear friend Nancy. 

Nancy quickly snapped into action to organize the wonderful friends who came to help us prepare for Joshua's farewell.  Every night near bedtime, I would go to her since she refused to leave us, and send her home to her family with heartfelt thanks for her help, and more importantly for her friendship of 24 years. 

This past Monday morning, I felt the need to take the day off from work and even more unexplainable, the next day as well.  Later that afternoon, I received a frantic call from Nancy that her sweet boy was en route to our local hospital and would I come as soon as possible?  I ran to get dressed, grabbed Brad and Stephi and we rushed to their side.

Monday soon turned into a 24 hour vigil as we prayed for her sweet boy laying in the ICU as a result of attempted suicide.  Word spread quickly of what had happened and that we were facing terrible odds. 

Many of my friends who came to know and love Nancy during our time of loss, asked what they could do? Christian, non christian, agnostic, it didn't matter.  At one point another sweet friend of mine, a self proclaimed agnostic, asked what she could do and all I could respond was "pray your heathen butt off".   As a sidebar, she responded "Only for you".

There is something about a tragic moment that brings even those most distant from Christ so quickly back to him.  Prayers for a miracle were prayed across 10 states as prayer warriors lifted their voices in hope.

On the fourth day....the day of tests of life, I couldn't take all the waiting around,  the crowds of supporters and had to go home to be with Brad and Stephi.  I paced the floor awaiting the news we knew was coming.

Just before 10 pm I received the following text "Sadness". 

 

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

Now, I find the tables turned.  I am the one embracing the mother of the child who has died.   I am the one who can relate to this terrible time like no other in our lives, and try to bring comfort to one who will not feel comfort in these early days.

If I didn't understand why my Josh died, I am even more perplexed why my life and those I love so dearly are once again touched by tragedy.

Tuesday, we will remember this sweet life, and I will be there to offer my love and support. 

Wednesday, most friends and family will return to their lives.  I will not!

Please keep Nancy and her family in your prayers.

Heartbroken Hugs!
Sherri