A few nights ago I returned from an evening of entertainment...Broadway style. Our oldest child, Brittany decided to audition and become part of the ensemble that would perform a mixture of broadway songs for two live performances. For two weeks she gave every spare moment to this show and the anticipation was great.
Tickets were purchased and plans made to get good seats so we could watch our girl sing! The curtain opened and the show began with the first number, and then another. Shortly after I saw my own enter the stage and a warm feeling of pride overcame me....when it came time for her solo, I felt a tear run down my face..my girls are growing up so fast.
The show was truly great and the kids did an excellent job. During intermission it was a nice time to visit with some of the parents of fellow students. It's easier for me since many of these parents have children the same ages as my three, so they are aware of our loss...I don't have to explain myself.
I realized I am moving forward.....last year I couldn't even manage to stay seated the whole time....a sad song would bring surges of tears and pain and I would have to leave to catch my breath. I remember a friend telling me I needed to see the show and when I asked her if there were any sad songs, she replied "no"...then I watched as her own sweet daughter sang the heartclincher "What I did for Love"
sigh...my heart couldn't take it...out the door I went again.
This year, my own sweet one was up on that stage and the tears were for her. How long had it been since I cried tears of pride for my surviving children? At least 13 months! I did find myself fighting the pangs that Josh wasn't there....he would have fidgited for the majority of the show, been yelled at several times, probably walked in and out of the auditorium, but he would have paused long enough to watch his sister on the stage. sigh...another heartbreaking moment of emotion.
It's nights like this one that I try not to dwell on the empty chair and be joyful for the smile up on the stage that resembles her dad and has my sense of humor. It's not easy, but it's the baby steps I need to take to breathe on in this life I now live.
Sending hugs!
Sherri
Tickets were purchased and plans made to get good seats so we could watch our girl sing! The curtain opened and the show began with the first number, and then another. Shortly after I saw my own enter the stage and a warm feeling of pride overcame me....when it came time for her solo, I felt a tear run down my face..my girls are growing up so fast.
The show was truly great and the kids did an excellent job. During intermission it was a nice time to visit with some of the parents of fellow students. It's easier for me since many of these parents have children the same ages as my three, so they are aware of our loss...I don't have to explain myself.
I realized I am moving forward.....last year I couldn't even manage to stay seated the whole time....a sad song would bring surges of tears and pain and I would have to leave to catch my breath. I remember a friend telling me I needed to see the show and when I asked her if there were any sad songs, she replied "no"...then I watched as her own sweet daughter sang the heartclincher "What I did for Love"
sigh...my heart couldn't take it...out the door I went again.
This year, my own sweet one was up on that stage and the tears were for her. How long had it been since I cried tears of pride for my surviving children? At least 13 months! I did find myself fighting the pangs that Josh wasn't there....he would have fidgited for the majority of the show, been yelled at several times, probably walked in and out of the auditorium, but he would have paused long enough to watch his sister on the stage. sigh...another heartbreaking moment of emotion.
It's nights like this one that I try not to dwell on the empty chair and be joyful for the smile up on the stage that resembles her dad and has my sense of humor. It's not easy, but it's the baby steps I need to take to breathe on in this life I now live.
Sending hugs!
Sherri
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