A New Milestone

Stephi and Brad went off to a country music concert, Britt is at school, so that means I am left at home with only Stealth kitty and my old pup.  Usually these nights mean sad movies, a bottle of wine, tissues, and photos.

It starts with a nice meal and a glass of wine, it next evolves to another glass and watching a "5 tissue" sad movie.  Then the photos and mementos come out;  They are photos and videos of Josh and the girls together.  By this point I am a blubbering mess asking God WHHHHHHHHhhyyyyyyyy?

Josh gets a head check from a furry friend.
 

It lasts for about 2-3 hours, before I am spent and drag myself to bed where I dream of what was. Usually dreams of the Newmanettes when they were younger and usually they are happy.

Josh on a fast food dinner run. 

You may be one of the sweet ones who try to understand and call this a necessary cleansing.  I call it my necessary evil.  There are those who may not like the addition of wine, but the daily mask I wear is so iron-clad, sometimes it takes a glass of wine to loosen the mask off.

I figured last night would go the usual route, but ya know what? Sometime in June I could feel I made a step in my healing, and last night, I just didn’t feel like taking the usual path.  What I did do was organize and clean in a frenzy, and then I sat and watched some action movies.

I admit I did look at 2 videos, a couple of photos and did shed a couple of tears, but I also laughed.

This is indeed a milestone towards finding my Joy!

You must learn a new way to think before....you can master a new way to be. Marianne Williamson

Hugs!
Sherri

Here are some of my go to "sad" movies:
The Fifth Quarter
P.S. I Love You
Terms of Endearment
My Sister's Keeper
Where The Heart Is
Steel Magnolias
Shadowlands