Furlough Treasures

We are in the third week of government furlough.  Brad and I are both stuck in that place where we can’t do much about our predicament.  We would like to be able to go to work, but the doors are locked.  We can’t wander too far away since we can be called back to work any day; besides cars take gas, and gas takes money.

There’s a good chance we will eventually get paid, but who knows.  There’s a lot of tension and real fear within our community that could easily pull me in, but  I guess losing Josh has “helped me” cope in this situation, because I realize that while the loss of my income,  and “things” would be hard, nothing could compare to losing Josh, so if I can live through his death, THIS AIN'T NOTHIN!

So as I wait,  I've cleaned out several closets for the first time in a long time, which means I found several items in them last touched by Joshua.  A wooden toy sword tucked in the middle of several colorful umbrellas in the umbrella stand.  I found it when I emptied everything out to clean out the leaves and bugs gathered at the bottom.

The “ewwwww  gross dead bugs” didn’t even occur to me.

His dress coat  was hanging in the hall closet.  I’ve seen it there a few times, but this time I pulled it close and smelled it before pushing it back with a smile on my face.

On week two, Brad and I hit the basement where we found treasures tucked away.  Artwork with Joshua’s name scribed in his own hand, poems to both of us sharing his love, and a kindergarten questionnaire where he states his mom is 101 years old.  

Brad discovered a personal treasure to him tucked in an old  golf bag....golf score cards from father/son golf outings when Josh tracked the score. 

Young Britt enjoying ice cream

After a quick lunch,  it was back to the basement to discover a ski coat way too small for any of us; The big green rock Josh found and adopted was next to a science board he put together to explain rivers. 

Then there were the old videos that we knew we needed to convert to DVDs but had let fall to the wayside were finally brought out.  We tried to clean the basement while the videos were converting, but the laughter and sounds from young Newmanettes had us glued to the tv for several minutes at a time. 

Sweet and shy Stephi

 There was Brittany and Stephi fighting over their tea set.  Video I took while very  pregnant with their baby brother, Joshua.

We have discovered a few things from these videos.  Brittany liked to boss her little sister around;  Stephi would take it for so long and then up and wallop Britt. 

My darling children.....Brittany was so serious, Stephi was such an easy going kid, and Josh was soooo curious with THAT smile.  Those videos hold visions of what has always been our center, our priority.  Our family!

Joshua climbing over the Halloween Box

By dinner time there were 6 bags of trash, 7 converted dvds, 12 bags for charity, and double stuffed oreos awaiting me upstairs, and boy did I need those oreos!

Mom and Dad popped into town unexpectedly for the weekend, and when they called I didn’t even have to worry about the house cuz it was already clean.  When they came in I even showed them my beautifully cleaned out basement, and listed my recent achievements including the video we were converting at that moment.

The furlough is very real, the loss of income and the hit to our economy is very real, and even I, a political science junkie,  can’t stand to watch the mudslinging and news swirls any longer. 

Someone call me when the real work is done.   In the meantime,  I’ll take this much needed time with myself to heal my heart since life never allowed me that time before.  Don’t worry, it has been one of laughter through the tears and confirms one thing: 

“Everybody needs his memories. They keep the wolf of insignificance from the door.” ― Saul Bellow

 

Hugs!

Sherri