There are so many ways people grieve and if you read anything on the subject it says there is no wrong way to grieve as long as you are not showing self destructive behavior or hurting others.
So I guess relying on pillows and stuffed animals for sanity falls in the "it's ok" column.
How many of us have hugged our pillows and cried into them to express our sadness over something? I know I have worn out many pillows with my tears over the years. It started out over being punished and sent to my room by my parents and just progressed from there. (if only my biggest sadness today was being grounded for not getting home in time...).
In these days of personal heartbreak two pillows and one special stuffed animal in Joshua's room helps me gauge the state of my family's grief and healing.... one day the pillows are crumpled up in a ball hugged so tightly that they stay scrunched until I fluff them out, the next time they lie flat and Joshua's "brownie boy dog" has been pulled close alongside where someone quietly laid on his bed , another time the pillows are still wet with tears, and on occasion, it's evident that the pillows have been thrown against the wall in anger.
These pillows never fight back, they just receive, and they never complain. They are the perfect friend to my family...they are there whenever needed to just hold, to cry into, soothe, or just listen.
Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't pay a bit of attention to pillows, but given what my family has been through, watching these pillows gives me some peace knowing my family is working through their grief and remembering our sweet ornery boy.
I think we are all hoping we will feel just a bit closer to Josh in his room and these pillows he laid his head upon. In his room amongst his pillows we find comfort, a safe haven for pure emotion and walls that keep our secrets. The pillows are a sad substitute for hugs from our boy, but they help us remember those vivid memories and sensations of those bear hugs.
I have no immediate plans to change a thing. These pillows will be there in their place whenever they are needed, and I will continue to wash them and keep this safe haven clean, cozy and inviting.
It's the simple things that can sometimes make the biggest difference.
Sending Hugs!
Sherri
So I guess relying on pillows and stuffed animals for sanity falls in the "it's ok" column.
How many of us have hugged our pillows and cried into them to express our sadness over something? I know I have worn out many pillows with my tears over the years. It started out over being punished and sent to my room by my parents and just progressed from there. (if only my biggest sadness today was being grounded for not getting home in time...).
In these days of personal heartbreak two pillows and one special stuffed animal in Joshua's room helps me gauge the state of my family's grief and healing.... one day the pillows are crumpled up in a ball hugged so tightly that they stay scrunched until I fluff them out, the next time they lie flat and Joshua's "brownie boy dog" has been pulled close alongside where someone quietly laid on his bed , another time the pillows are still wet with tears, and on occasion, it's evident that the pillows have been thrown against the wall in anger.
These pillows never fight back, they just receive, and they never complain. They are the perfect friend to my family...they are there whenever needed to just hold, to cry into, soothe, or just listen.
Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't pay a bit of attention to pillows, but given what my family has been through, watching these pillows gives me some peace knowing my family is working through their grief and remembering our sweet ornery boy.
 |
| Joshua with his tattered and torn blankie in bed |
I think we are all hoping we will feel just a bit closer to Josh in his room and these pillows he laid his head upon. In his room amongst his pillows we find comfort, a safe haven for pure emotion and walls that keep our secrets. The pillows are a sad substitute for hugs from our boy, but they help us remember those vivid memories and sensations of those bear hugs.
I have no immediate plans to change a thing. These pillows will be there in their place whenever they are needed, and I will continue to wash them and keep this safe haven clean, cozy and inviting.
It's the simple things that can sometimes make the biggest difference.
Sending Hugs!
Sherri
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