Brad is off again with work, and poor Stephi is home with a bad cold. She looks so pathetic with her cute little red nose, and her voice that mimics a 6 pack a day smoker.
Work is very challenging these days as the federal government watches and waits to see if we will fall off the fiscal cliff. Curiosity and sincere concern as well as pockets of hysteria fill the halls and meeting rooms wherever I go.
They're keeping me hoppin' answering these concerns, but to tell you the truth, I am not concerned. There is no doubt slashed budgets would be difficult and quite challenging, but I know we will make it through. We are Americans and regardless to what others think of us, we always make it through whatever comes our way.
The overly busy days help me avoid mental downtime. It's better when I don't have to think..
Of course, the kids are all on my mind. Brittany is starting a new semester and calls as she walks to meet with a new professor for assistance on a project, Stephi with her cold and sad little eyes...
For a second, I worry about Josh. I need to keep Stephi away from him because if he gets sick, it could lead to a fever and if he has a fever, we could be facing seizures that could.....kill him. Reality sets in, my worst fears for him have become reality. I realize I don't get to fear for him anymore. He is seizure free without any cares, and is now in a place of light and love.
They say it gets easier over time. How naive...those who have lost a child or dear one realize it just gets different. Life has a way of crowding the mind full of 'right now' thoughts and the right now no longer includes Joshua. He is my memory, my joy, my first hug when my own time is over.
Everyday life consists of loving the girls and Brad, trying to keep up with work, home, church events such as the upcoming festival, and sleep. I am able to skirt around the depths of despair this way although thoughts are constant. Those thoughts become almost like breathing..such an integral part of life and you don't even realize you're doing it.
There are those moments much like when you catch cold that you miss the "just being able to breathe and not think about it" part, much like those moments, when you stop for long enough to realize your child is gone.
A request to talk to a family that has lost a child, a favorite tv show that reflects over the loss of someone near and dear. Emotional triggers.....this leads me to the second room on the right. His room. I open the door, and immediately, his loss is beyond belief. All those memories that become a bit fuzzy with the busy of life, are crystal clear, and in that moment, my heart releases the tears it has been collecting with every thought of him.
Tomorrow, I'll get up and attend to the things at hand in the office. Many will want to use terms such as financial "crisis", but I don't agree in the least. I have been in crisis and this doesn't even come close.
Please pray for our leaders regardless of party affiliation. May God guide their hearts and minds to resolve the financial challenges ahead.
Hugs,
Sherri
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| The Newmanettes in Petra (Jordan) 2008 |
They're keeping me hoppin' answering these concerns, but to tell you the truth, I am not concerned. There is no doubt slashed budgets would be difficult and quite challenging, but I know we will make it through. We are Americans and regardless to what others think of us, we always make it through whatever comes our way.
The overly busy days help me avoid mental downtime. It's better when I don't have to think..
Of course, the kids are all on my mind. Brittany is starting a new semester and calls as she walks to meet with a new professor for assistance on a project, Stephi with her cold and sad little eyes...
For a second, I worry about Josh. I need to keep Stephi away from him because if he gets sick, it could lead to a fever and if he has a fever, we could be facing seizures that could.....kill him. Reality sets in, my worst fears for him have become reality. I realize I don't get to fear for him anymore. He is seizure free without any cares, and is now in a place of light and love.
They say it gets easier over time. How naive...those who have lost a child or dear one realize it just gets different. Life has a way of crowding the mind full of 'right now' thoughts and the right now no longer includes Joshua. He is my memory, my joy, my first hug when my own time is over.
Everyday life consists of loving the girls and Brad, trying to keep up with work, home, church events such as the upcoming festival, and sleep. I am able to skirt around the depths of despair this way although thoughts are constant. Those thoughts become almost like breathing..such an integral part of life and you don't even realize you're doing it.
There are those moments much like when you catch cold that you miss the "just being able to breathe and not think about it" part, much like those moments, when you stop for long enough to realize your child is gone.
A request to talk to a family that has lost a child, a favorite tv show that reflects over the loss of someone near and dear. Emotional triggers.....this leads me to the second room on the right. His room. I open the door, and immediately, his loss is beyond belief. All those memories that become a bit fuzzy with the busy of life, are crystal clear, and in that moment, my heart releases the tears it has been collecting with every thought of him.
Tomorrow, I'll get up and attend to the things at hand in the office. Many will want to use terms such as financial "crisis", but I don't agree in the least. I have been in crisis and this doesn't even come close.
Please pray for our leaders regardless of party affiliation. May God guide their hearts and minds to resolve the financial challenges ahead.
Hugs,
Sherri
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