A Moment's Peace

December 14, 2010 PM

My family finally had a time of togetherness and smiles.  This is such a high point for us.  We are working on homework and it goes something like this…."Dad I need help on Physics…ok, let’s see (blah blah blah physics speak blah, why do you make your N’s backwards?)"

"Mom, can you go over these definitions with me.  Who wrote “The Prince”, Who discovered the Caribbean, define Renaissance."

And before we know it there is a comfortable banter going on in the room between four people who have been to hell and back and have lived to tell the tale and did it on the wings of love.  A moment of peace. 

We were finally able to put closure on Joshua’s medical case today.  We found out there is no official report of death since it was declared to be a medical condition/natural causes and not of a suspicious nature.  Since he had been seizing earlier that week I kept wondering if I should have noticed something and reacted a little more aggressively, but blood work taken 2 days before his death came back normal.  At first I was in tears because I think I wanted something to blame on myself, but then I realized later that I was at peace.  Our Heavenly Father just really needed Joshua to come at his appointed time and Joshua was never late.

I still struggle with “what ifs” on almost a daily basis, but I am realizing it’s because I’m a control freak and God has shown me that that there are plenty of things I cannot control.  What a lesson to learn.

I am so glad to hear God’s name in so many places.  In school, at work, doctor’s office, friends and family.  We may be forced to be politically correct in the name of cultural diversity, but it has been my experience that so many of the religions followed in this very diverse area include a God…maybe not always called by the same name but so many believe in the heavenly father and eternal life.  It lifts my heart.

I spoke with my Mom tonight and we had a nice conversation that didn’t end in tears. She and Dad plan to come stay with us over Christmas and I offered the newly blessed Joshua Suite of Peace which she happily accepted.

I think I turned over a new leaf.  I saw my family smiling for just a moment.  That moment has given me great hope.  While we will miss our ornery Joshua and the excitement his presence in a room made, we will honor him with love toward one another and those in our lives.